A first and very fundamental question to ask before anything changes in your life is who or what is responsible for your life? Who or what controls your life? People tend to be either outer directed or inner directed. You either blame others for your problems and therefore rely on others to rescue you, or you take responsibility for having power over your life and act on it. 

You can’t drive the car from the back seat. Who are you waiting for to give you permission to be who you are?

Who or what is responsible for the problems you have in your life? To what do you affix responsibility for where you are? Listen to the story you tell yourself about yourself. What are the rationalizations you have for not being in a better place? Is it money, your family, your age, your racial or ethnic background? Do you believe in fate, luck, karma, or the position of the stars and planets? Is it God’s will that you haven’t achieved your dreams? Are you just meant to have an ordinary life of struggle and can only dream of better things?

If you want your life to change, you need to believe that you can indeed change it and that there are no insurmountable permanent obstacles to happiness. Blame has no value. It’s a waste of energy and doesn’t get you nearer to your goal. I’m not saying there aren’t going to be obstacles and struggles. I’m not saying that anything in life is necessarily easy. But if you rationalize your inabilities to the point where you don’t try to better your life, your life doesn’t get better. 

If you argue for your limitations, you get to keep them and never rise above them.

No matter what limitations or shortcomings you think you have, no matter what has been perpetrated on you, it still comes down to your present choices, not your past wrongs. You’ve been dealt a bad hand? What are you going to do about it? Cut to the chase and start moving forward. The only advantage of holding onto blame is that it gives you an excuse to stand still. It gives you a rationalization for lack of success and takes away your power to overcome your failures, shortcomings or fears. You can’t be focused on the past and the future at the same time. You can’t move forward if you are projecting backward. 

No matter where you start from, make a start and move forward. If you want your world to change, believe that the world is changeable and believe you have the power to change it. Then start acting as if it’s true.